Horrorthon 2011, Part 1: Poltergeist II: The Other Side

It's time for another Spooky Octoberfest. And without any further ado, here is this year's first entry in my annual Horrorthon! ::strikes zombie pose and makes groaning noise::

After the runaway success of Poltergeist, I guess it was only a matter of time until we got a sequel. The only problem is that it's an entirely new team at the helm and, adhering to a hard and fast rule of movie sequels, this means we venture off into new territories story wise, not all of which are particularly welcome or even make much sense.

That's illustrated perfectly by the film's opening credits. The first movie excelled itself by introducing a completely normal suburban setting for its credits sequence which, let's face it, was rather unusual for what was essentially a haunted house movie. In this film, on the other hand, we open with an overly long sequence featuring some native American shamen. It's a weird setting once again for what is essentially a haunted house movie and I've seen this film at least ten times and I still haven't the foggiest what it's all about.

Anyway, the film eventually ventures back to more familiar territory, which is when we find out that a year or so has passed since the events of the first film and that the Freelings are now living with Diane's elderly mother. Carol-Anne seems to have no memories of her ghostly adventures, whilst the rest of the Freelings are forced to live out the consequences of all the past calamity. Putting it bluntly, the family are flat-out broke. Now that he no longer works for the evil developer that likes to build houses on top of graveyards, Stephen is forced to sell vacuum cleaners for a living, while they duke it out with their insurance company who, naturally, aren't keen to pay out on acts of the dead.

Very quickly however, we realise that Carol-Anne is more bright and switched on than we thought. She pulls the right colour of yarn from the knitting basket without looking at it. She talks to kittens at the pet shop. Stuff like that. Carol-Anne, so it would seem, is more than a little clairvoyant.

Meanwhile, a team of researchers are digging up the earth at the site of the old house in Cuesta Verde. One of the team is none other than the magic munchkin herself, Tangina Barrons, who dutifully informs an Indian friend of hers (it's the same fellow we saw in the opening sequence and his name is Taylor) that they've found an ancient burial ground, deep underneath the cemetery which went kablooey in the first film. Could this be the real source of all the spooky shenanigans, in actual fact?

Taylor is promptly despatched to warn the Freelings that the vengeful spooks are on the loose again. And sure enough, right on cue, the music and lights show starts up again. Unfortunately, this is where the movie begins to suffer. Apart from an absolutely amazing scene later on in the film (more about that later), without the trusty knob-twiddling team at Industrial Light & Magic, the effects are a little lacklustre this time around. They're not terrible (in fact, they were nominated for an Academy Award) but you'll notice the difference sure enough.

There's no television in the Freeling household any more, so this time the horrid ghosties make contact by telephone. It would appear that their modus operandi hasn't changed much, either. This is neatly illustrated by a ridiculous scene where Robbie is attacked by his own teeth brace. Once again, the nasty spirits aren't in the least bit interested in Robbie, rather this is all a wicked diversion so they can whisk Carol-Anne off to the afterlife. Thankfully, this time their efforts are thwarted by that pesky Indian dude.

One thing in particular has changed about their MO, however, and his name is Kane. It's not explained at all well but we're led to believe that Kane is the physical embodiment of the evil spirit Tangina calls "The Beast" in the first film. You're left wondering how the heck a demon from the afterlife is able to walk amongst the living whenever he damn well pleases, in spite of being offered a rubbish explanation that he's a being which can assume many forms.

This time the Beast has taken the form of an elderly skeleton-thin preacher man from the deep south. He's not at all pretty, with paper thin translucent skin, deeply sunken eyes and at least twenty too many yellow teeth in his mouth. And it's at this point in the proceedings that the plot gets a little muddled. The Indian man thinks that they'll be saved by all sorts of macho rite of passage claptrap, while Tangina thinks the solution lies in Diane so she harangues her until she admits that she too is psychic.

All the while, Kane tries to get himself invited into the Freeling house. Kane is clearly not a vampire but somehow appears to be powerless to whisk Carol-Anne back to the spirit world until he's invited over the threshold. Cue an absolutely unforgettable scene where Kane engages in a battle of wills (and an old-fashioned shouting match) with Stephen on the doorstep to the house - a battle which he loses, incidentally.

Kane may lose the battle, but the war is certainly not over and there is more than one way to end up inside that damn house. Suddenly, what is the most briliant scene in the whole film comes along. Stephen decides to drown his sorrows by polishing off a bottle of mezcal, even downing the worm at the bottom of the bottle (I know, eww). Except... oh no... the worm is actually Kane in another form! (How did he get in the bottle, though? Oh, who cares.) Stephen is now possessed! This is not the brilliant part of this scene. In fact, there's an altogether uncomfortable sequence first during which Stephen-Kane makes unwanted sexual advances on Diane.

It's when Diane realises that Stephen isn't exactly acting like himself that things turn nasty/amazing. After Diane professes her undying love for him, Stephen begins to expel Kane from his body. You would think that it would all be done with pretty lights and loud noises, but no. Instead, he starts to retch and convulse, throwing up the most foul gunk known to man - which wouldn't be so bad if the gunk didn't grow into a slimy horrific alien demon creature before our very eyes. The creature is NOT nice - think Alien meets Hellraiser meets Predator. It blinks at us and then hobbles away, while the audience reaches for the sick bags.

We're nearing the end of the film so that means it's time for another final escape from the house routine. It's nowhere near as inventive or as memorable as in the first film - flying chainsaws anyone? - but it's still kinda fun nonetheless.

You may think that is where the movie ends. Afterwards, you might wish that is where the movie ended, but no. The family quickly realise that to vanquish Kane and his horde of followers once and for all, they'll have to do it on his own turf. So, off they troop to Cuesta Verde, all so they can go on a merry jaunt to... cue dramatic music... "The Other Side". And I am not joking when I tell you that it is dreadful. Not dreadful as in scary and horrifying. It's just really bad. It's easily and by far the worst part of the whole film, right there at the end. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Still, there is indeed a happy ending and I'm not a firm believer of movie endings spoiling everything that went before it, so the trick is to just go with it, or simply switch off ten minutes before the full running time has elapsed.

3 out of 5.